Facebook

Well I have been taken over by the craze which is engulfing the world Facebook- I do not know whether it is because I am now forty and facing my own mortality that I am suddenly obsessed with the past and the people in it. I did read some where once that this is a common fascination of the middle aged.

So I have made contacts with old school friends ex work colleagues and my first love - it has been so much fun chatting up with these people the most interesting part is with what ease it is to talk to them virtually of course- and I come to realise that its because of some sort of common foundation you have with them - they know your family - your school life - its this I feel leads to this ease.

Back to my first love - I think its the innocence the freshness of your first love that makes such a mark in your life. You have no idea what path life will take you down what turns you will take - Life is simple when you are young - your in love the world is exciting. For me this innocence and trust in the world came to a sudden end - over night with a personal tragedy which would change my life for ever and take me a good twenty years to come to terms with tragedy. With this tragedy came a change in me an unbalancing which brought about the end of that first relationship. I would often wounder throughout the tough times in my life if I should have hung on tighter or fought a little harder for that first relationship - but now I know with age and a successful marriage that I had a long hard path of discovery and personal sadness to undertake that this relationship or any other for that matter would not have with stood.

Contact now is good it is fun to relive the past and chat about the choices each has made- and I feel this is a safe friendship both stable with real deep love and regard for our spouses - young families - so a lot of water has gone under the bridge and time has flooded past but I look forward to a future friendship with a person who helped shape who I am.