Never say Never

so I am returning to OB - even though I said I would not what changed nothing really its just I miss birth, missed working 12 hour shifts and missed my family working 5 8 hour shifts just did not work for me - so on I move back to OB :)

School is going Ok I am getting tired and feel burnt out but I am so close nearly back where I belong catching babies .......... Family life is busy boys keep us going heading towards the holidays my thoughts go to our families 5000 miles away.

No Longer OB Nurse

So I no longer work in the traditional ob Field - truthfully I jumped before I was pushed - I miss the friends I made but that's it - it was the best move for me I feel free and the next time I walk on to a OB unit it will be as a CNM ( USA Style) ! My new job is working with correctional health with in the jail system I am loving it female jail plenty of women's health and OB - plenty of work to be done its good for me.
School is ok just something I have got to get done and for some unknown reason it is twice as harder the second time round but I am over half way end is in sight:)

Term Four/ Camp Nurse

So I am in the middle of my annual camp nurse stint - camp nursing is defiantly not for the faint of heart but its fun - and most of all my boys love to be at camp.

we are just doing the three weeks this year- Its all I could afford whilst being at school.

Talking of school I am heading towards my fourth term and I think my half way point- wow time has gone fast.

Its all change in my world I am leaving OB for correctional health which will be a huge change but one I am looking forward to. Ok back to the emergent band aid!

Midwives

Well Seattle was great it was a buzz to be around midwives again all different in their ways but with a common goal to promote safe, evidence based care to the women and families they serve. Got to met tones of people had a really great time also got to connect with my cyber class mates which was a blast.

Seattle

I am off to the midwifery convention tomorrow and I am very excited - my first American style Midwifery convention - WOW. I hoping to be over whelmed with the power and presents of midwives in the USA. Looking forward to meeting people who do not look at you strangely for your career choice. I am going to be a complete midwifery geek and love it! Darling DH is staying home to hold up the home front and look after our boys. I am going to put school work on the back boiler and just enjoy the conference I will worry about catching up when I get back.

By next years convention I should be ready to sit my boards all going to plan - not wishing my life away just makes it all so real.

Why Midwifery

Truthfully returning to midwifery school to retrain as a midwife has had its struggles it so difficult having other people other midwives mark your work - some to be fair hold the up most respect for me as a sister midwife All be it trained and practised in another countries others hold some form of arrogance and are patronizing that I am now getting the correct training . I am retaking the whole course for the love of my profession. I do not believe that I know everything or I have not got anything to learn as that could not be further from the truth- but all I ask is that people listen to me and accept that there may be a different way of looking at things!

I gone over and over in my mind why midwifery why am I putting myself and my family through this- Why am I not happy with being a nurse - you know I cannot answer that - I know I believe in birth life and families I love being around people at these times. I not really religious for me religion is life when a baby comes into this world that is the meaning of it all the impact that life has on others.

Although I am in love with a man I truly love women I really do and I think seeing them in birth the strength the determination the fear the wounder all at once it what draws me to it. I hate the way pregnancy and birth have been down graded in our society - where pregnant women are made to feel week if they should admit they are tired when pregnant. When it appears no longer special to be pregnant. Birth and its wonderment has now been put on a time clock induced at 38 weeks, numbed with epidurals and hurried with potcin. It seems no longer to about the miracle of life. This is why I need be a midwife to help people remember what life is about if people no longer respect pregnancy and birth how can they respect life.
I need to keep my eye on the prize and push my way through.

Home Birth

So the news is out a huge study which appears not to have been fully published yet appears to show that in Low risk pregnant women who are cared for by a trained midwife are as safe to birth at HOME as in hospital http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/7998417.stm. So what as the ACOG going to say about this!

Are women in America going to be be given a true choice where to birth there babies is this choice going to be supported by the health care community - properly not- but progress is progress. What do I think should happen - I think that care of low risk women should be handed over to Certified Midwives - notice I missed out the word nurse I thing that there should be two points of entry in to midwifery in America one from nursing leading to certified midwife - and one from non nursing with longer training leading to the same qualification - this should be done over the next 10 years and every professional who intends to practise in the profession would have to be certified by the same certifying exam - the water would be grey for the next 10yrs but no grayer than it is now and at the end you would have a robust group of highly trained professional ready to take over the care of the family during low risk birth. This care would be cheaper, women and family focused.

Midwifery

How strange it is to live in a country when birth and midwifery do not go hand in hand. All my years of being a midwife in the UK the thousands of women I severed, births I attended and families I met I never once had to justify my role or explain how it is safe for me to care for you. USA the difference is over whelming we may speak the same language ( well some of the time) and be brothers in arms when it comes to war - but when it comes to birth we could not be further a part. Not a day goes past when I do not have to explain what a midwife is how we are trained and experts in normal low risk birth - its exhausting. I know people look at me expect me to grow a second head or have some herbal recipe for every minor pregnancy complication. I know I astonish my nursing colleagues with research, evidence and resent practise which involves safe birth.
So I think practising my beloved profession is going to be challenging in the land free and home of the brave - but I guess I am up for the challenge.

WOW

What happens to time - the older you get the quicker it flies by - End of March already another birthday approaching- I just want to shout stop now world let me catch my breath! I can hardly believe that I have a son who is nearly 12. I think the hardest job or task or emotion I have ever had to date is being a parent. You have no idea if what are doing is right or wrong everyone has an opinion none are the same its is the only job in the world that you can not to right for doing wrong. You can never imagine what being a parent is like - its mind blowing.
Amazingly I am keeping up with school and I do not want to put a curse on my self but it has not been to bad - just manage your time and keep on task. Well I managed three A and i work full time nights so basically if I can do it so can everyone else.
My favourite past time is face book what an amazing tool allowing the world to contact its past WOW.
I am enjoying frontier more that I thought I would it is a great school and if I had to retrain any where that is the best - well that's what I feel
Booked my flight to the Midwifery conference got to be honest very excited. So heading in to our third year state side and truthfully I love it here I feel I have lived here all my life I am waiting patiently for the homesickness to kick in!

Back

I have after many months returned to my Blog - just been so busy with work , school and family life just have not had the inclination to blog.
Well things are going well I am half way through my second term in Frontier and I am managing some how to keep up. Work is going well which we are very fortunate to say in these hard and depressing times - I live with hope that soon things will turn around and families will be secure. Although I do not think that will ever be as they were before people will remember hopefully that spending money that is not yours will finally catch up with you. But as always when bad things happen its the people who have worked hard good honest people that really suffer.
I can see a tiny flicker of light at the end of a dark tunnel that soon I will be returning to midwifery again and all that that will bring.