Application Sent

So I have sent my application to be considered for midwifery education - again - if I am successful it will be strange to be a student midwife again almost 10 years on from the first time- what a strange path my life has taken. I really believe that I will be a midwife again soon helping women achieve an empowering birth experience -the births I am helping with at the moment are so unemotional even cold it is the weirdest experience of my life - its almost like the woman is a spectator- I witnessed a 19 year old cut last night so the doctor did not have to wait the whole experience made me sick a complete violation of birth and the women and their families except this just get the baby the quickest way no matter what the cost to the mother. I think I am having this experience for a reason to make me a better midwife to open my eyes wide-to make me examine my own ego.